Wow, 2 years!! That’s how long it’s been since I last sent out a newsletter. If this were a gym membership, you’d still be getting charged. Thank God it’s a free newsletter.

So here we are. If you’re wondering, who is this, and why are they in my inbox? It’s because you subscribed to this newsletter… though that may have been 2 years ago. So if you want out, you can simply unsubscribe below.

But if want no-BS insights on Australian jobs, money, and companies, I’d recommend sticking around.

This week we’ll be discussing:

• The worst job application ever

• How to be useless at work (and not get fired)

• Settling LinkedIn’s biggest debate

What’s inside the worst application ever written?

A few days ago, TikTok exploded... But this time, not over a celebrity scandal or the latest dance trend.

It was over a job application.

Yeah you heard that right.

Jane Lu, founder of Showpo and a Shark Tank investor, opened a job application that made her freeze.

Because right there in the email, bold as ever, it read:

“[relevant experience/skill].”

The candidate had copied ChatGPT’s response without even filling in the blanks. And just when you think it couldn’t get worse, the email even included:

“Here is a more polished version of your cover letter.”

Yes, ChatGPT can help you get a job. But it can also make you go viral for all the wrong reasons, so personalise, proofread, and for the love of job offers, don’t hit send without checking your work.

Be useless at work, but don’t get fired

Not everyone’s hustling for a promotion, some just want a pay check, a little peace, and to log off at 5, or 3 if you are in Canberra. The one skill I learnt working with NSW government; how to be useless at work, but not get fired.

Here’s my survival guide for you:

1. Master the art of looking busy: Walk fast, carry a notebook, sigh at your screen, and every now and then drop a “Let’s circle back next week.”

2. Missed a deadline? Blame process inefficiencies or stakeholder buy-in issues. Sounds fancy, means nothing.

3. Get really good at suggesting ‘let’s have a meeting’. You come across as a decision maker… but deep inside you know what you did there.

In all this, there’s only 1 thing you gotta do well: responding to emails quickly.

Your manager will mistake speed for productivity, while you scroll TikTok.

Time to settle LinkedIn’s biggest debate

There’s bad advice, there’s terrible advice, and then… there’s the advice telling you not to turn on your Open to Work banner.

How dare you signal you’d like to get hired?

The cooler move apparently is to stay silent, and be unemployed.

Here’s my 2 cents: Looking for work isn’t a weakness. It’s just being a functional adult. Being ‘open to work’ doesn’t make you desperate, it just makes you employed… literally and metaphorically.

I’ve read many well thought out arguments for this, and bad ones against it. But the best thing I read on this topic was way way back...